My life account of the lonely beast,
Brought to it knees by the Beauty:
Not overcome by thorns and claws, But by love and hugs!
I don’t have free will. My eyes think for itself, my heart does too.
And me? I don’t have a chance.
I don’t get to choose how I feel.
13
The first time my eyes saw you. There were many trees, but you were under one_ the peach tree. My favorite.
You were alone, I guess lonely.
I was scolded fiercely, and I ran out from home. I felt but one thing _what I detest _despised.
But it left me, when my eyes saw your hair waving at the flow of the wind.
The cloud was dark, the sun long gone; it was going to rain.
You were a mess, the wind scattering your hair and dress.
Someone was staring at you_ it was me at my lonely days. Days when my voice was drowned in sadness_ yet you felt it and look back.
Oh No…
Your Face was fair like gold, your eyes glassy like diamonds. Your lips were red, feeble and innocent like a pair of white doves. Your eyelashes wet with tears. And the dimple at your smooth cheek, Confirmed you smiled at the first glance.
My heartbeat warned me, my fingers trembled: I’m scared of your beauty!
You gestured me to draw near.
No… I won’t come at you, don’t tempt me. You are the princess, betroth to the prince.
I’m bad air from the slums.
So, I turned to leave, and yet I hesitated.
I felt soft hand on my shoulder…
Your voice was thin, soft, warm and friendly. Your lips smiled constantly.
It relieved my fear. The anger and rejection I felt where gone. You brought with you and upon me comfort, joy and bliss.
You talked, I smiled shyly, we laughed. We strolled to my home, side by side.
See you again
14
You Sneaked out of the palace to visit my hut. I was ashamed.
You ignored the feast in mansion and made pick fruit for you. I wondered.
We seemed happy. Running around like children in the park. Screaming like kids in the beach.
Sometimes roleplaying like adult, other times like Teens we really were.
We didn’t say we loved each other, but I know we did. In the air, in our hearts, in our eyes.
You ignored your family, I avoided mine.Time was better and faster when we were together.
Cuz love is life, blood dies.
I remember when you feigned like you stumbled on a stone when running, I ran to you then stopped, doubting you. You wouldn’t let me see it but acted like you were cut.
“it hurts” You Whispered
That voice was truth to me, and I believed you then tend to wound that wasn’t there.
You couldn’t stop staring and I didn’t quit avoiding the gaze of the beauty. But then…
15
There were bad times. Both our family hated this bond. I could feel it.
You called me this time to comfort you. Believe me I tried. You were vulnerable and high that night. I recur.
Your clothes were undone. I couldn’t dare come near.
you are betroth to the Prince
My decision piqued your pride.
Then you smiled. I won the test.
I was happy, I reached out to you to reflect your smile...
You had fever, and your body burned hot. I realized it was cold as if it snowed and you need home.
But you insisted otherwise. To be together, to hold each other. No talk. Just silence. Two of us.
You lost conscious.I carried you home. Anxious.
Your mum cried, your father was bitter, and your brother punched me with a stare.
It was all my fault, I ignored the fever and the pain it brought. And then…
16
I lost you.You traveled to the State. Your brother disappeared.
I was made the ransom. My family disowned me. I slept beneath the peach tree all night, no home, alone in the woods. My eyes weary of tears. Waiting for your kinsmen to close on me. My death for your brother’s freedom.
My thoughts were endless, depressed and stressed.
Pain with no gain.
You sought me and found me in the mountain, with tears running down your cheek.
I was hugged,
It was warm.
I was kissed!
Was I missed?
Oh no…
I have been betrayed.
I felt a sharp pain behind my abdomen. The cut was deep. So was our bond.
It was on fifteenth July; my sixteenth year.
Birthday now death-day,
Sweet-sixteen now sweet-sorrow .
I fall on my knees, and my blood stain your pretty hands. I gasped for air.
‘You always take my breath away: in pain and in gain. In sorrow and in hope till morrow.’
You struck again with the same bloody knife, this time my stomach. I realized you were saving your brother.
Blood is thicker. Love is air, that passes away!
“Good Bye ken” you cried twisting the knife.
“Till earth is no more” My lungs moans, trying to breath in eternity.
Facing the sky, my eye shut in pain. My heart ached, my fingers dizzy. I felt my lungs collapsed and my stomach still held unto your last gift.
Your first gift was peace. And the last a blade.
You gave me Peace, and end my pain. I’m indebted to you even unto death.
To lily the beauty.
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